127. Cafe Nero cont’d

I tear open another sachet of sugar.

Pour the crystals into my mouth.

Crunch them

Nero is playing classical music.

I’m not sure what.

I know Bachs cello suites pretty well.

I know the moonlight sonata.

Who’s that ? Beethoven or Mozart?

I know that one who writes the slow piano music who Anthony Hopkins like to play.

He plays the piano Anthony Hopkins.

He’s one of my heroes.

One of my favorite actors.

Him and Richard Burton.

Both Welsh.

Like me.

Well, my dad’s side.

I always joke “Yeh, I’m half Welsh. Unfortunately it’s the bottom half.”

But they sadden me, my hero actors.

Richard Burton once said “I just wanna go to my grave.”

Probably depressed after drinking a whole bottle of whiskey during every performance while playing Hamlet on Broadway.

Playing Hamlet is enough to drive anyone to drink LOL.

I’ve played Hamlet.

In my head.

That is, I’ve learned the part.

The entire role.

I read in his autobiography that he learned 7 Shakespearian roles while in the RAF as dedication to his craft.

So then I did the same.

That was in the 5 years I was unemployed between the age of 27 and 32 – from when I was born again to when I went to drama school.

I started with Hamlet, then Romeo, then MacBeth, then Henry V, then Iago, then…after I saw Ralph Fiennes play Richard II and Coriolanus back to back on stage in a purpose built theatre in Kentish Town I learned Richard II and Coriolanus.

That’s 7.

7 is quite a significant number for me.

For a start I’m the 7th 007.

And Anthony Hopkins, he said, with all his accomplishments and success he feels a complete sense of nothingness.

I find that quite sad – because since finding Jesus after I was heartbroken over Amelia I’ve felt a complete sense of God’s love.




I still can’t remember the pianist Anthony Hopkins likes to play.

Can’t remember his name.

This isn’t him, tho.

This is violin.

Not Paganini.

That mothufukka is crazy.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he was a psychopath.

Some artists are.

Who’s the writer who killed someone in a pub brawl?

And Carravagio was a murderer.

I love Supper at Emaus.

I love the way his hand is too big.

I finish my cappuccino.

I’ve been sitting here about two hours now.

It must be about 4 o’clock.


A group of workmen come in and get coffees, all laughy and chatty.

I feel like they’re laughy and chatty because of me.

It’s like, wherever I am, people talk loudly around me, and everyone’s happy.

It’s like now James Bond reality live cinema show has changed location from Cambodia to London – and because billions of people are watching live the London producers want to present London as a happy place – like even the workmen at the airport are happy.

Or maybe they are just happy.

I’m always happy.

Look at me now, not a pot to piss in and still overflowing with the love of God.

I know Jesus will look after me.

I pour another sachet of crystals in me gob.

Crunch crunch crunch.

The pretty staff member comes around wiping tables.

I’ll leave my bags here and go see if I can scrounge a cigarette…FB_IMG_1553445817843







Author: Mark Dark

Actor turned Christian missionary turns his back on his Hollywood dreams to combat sex trafficking in Cambodia – and finds himself tangled up in gang culture and a surreal internal world of drugs psychosis. Based on true events.