11: Here I Am

The fundraiser was a success.
Apart from the entire cast getting stuck in the lift during the interval.
The fire men arrived in minutes and released them ready for curtain up Act 2.
Adrianna Bertola – Cosette in the West End cast of Les Miz – was a sensation.
The whole cast was.
I nailed the fundraising at the end, mic. in hand, with a line from my Covent Garden street performing days:

“Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands in your pockets, take out your loose change…fold it up…”

We raised enough to send photographer Anna Gough on her first missionary trip to The Philippines to volunteer for two weeks with an NGO I had started to liaise with called:
The Third World Movement Against the Exploitation of Women.
I also sent a donation of around £900 which then was around $1,500.
Anna went on her trip.
She called me her Mordecai.
I’m still not sure what that means.
But when was I going to go?
My favourite music was Christian rock band Delirious.
I was listening to one song, one night, which echoed the words of the prophet Isaiah:

Here I am, send me.
Isaiah 6:8

Here I am, send me.
This became my prayer.
At home group.
At church.
Every day.
The Holy Spirit was on me in power.
Every Sunday evening I’d go forward for prayer and everytime I’d end up on my knees, my face on the floor, floods of tears, with visions of Cambodia, Svay Pak, children being rescued from brothels.
The Holy Spirit was on me in power.
Every Sunday, after the super-anointed worship at SPOS as we affectionately called it (St. Paul’s Onslow Square) the Spirit would fill me so I was overflowing, trembling, filled with incomparable joy, laughing…
Then the next moment I’d be on my knees praying, sobbing, visions of Cambodia children trapped in brothels…

Here I am, LORD, send me.

Here I am, LORD.
Send me.
Where I was going, I knew.
What The LORD was sending me to do…
I had no idea.
What I was not expecting was to end up a broke, homeless junkie – abandoned by my church – a crystal meth addict, left to rot and die on the streets of Phnom Penh…

Author: Mark Dark

Actor Teacher Writer Breaking Bad for Christ – a Novel. Actor turned Christian missionary turns his back on his Hollywood dreams to combat sex trafficking in Cambodia – and finds himself deep underground in a dangerous world of drugs, gangs and violence. Based on a true story. https://steveedwardsthoughts.wordpress.com/

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