10: Mr. C.

I just want to work with the elefants, I say.
The magic elefants.
I need a notebook.
I race across the road, to the shop.
Me’an seeoopow? I ask in Khmer. Kgnom trow ka sawsei seeoopow.
(Do you have a book? I need to write a book).
The shop keeper finds me a book.
Its squared. I want a blank page one.
I look at some more, shoved at the back of the 24 shop that sells everything.
The woman, in her fifties, seems more amused than unsettled at this high-on-ice foreigner searching for a notebook to write a story.
I’m obsessed. I must have the book. I must write the story now.
Finally, I find what I’m looking for: a pocket sized diary, brown faux leather cover that clicks open and closed with a round silver fastener. 2,500 riel. That’s less than a dollar.
La’or, I say.
How about a pen? Do you have a pen? I need red and blue.
She finds me two pens.
That’s 6,000 riel altogether. I’ve only got $5 left in the world but this is important.
I give her the notes and saunter back to Sorya Mall.
I sit outside Home Food in the middle of the mall – to the side of the elephant.
I don’t understand.
There’s an elephant on Sorya Mall!
Why is there an elephant?
A baby elephant.
Gold coloured.
A golden, baby elephant.
It must be magic.
It must be a magic elephant.
My head spins.
It must be God.
You couldn’t write this.
I don’t get it.
It feels scripted.
I feel like, again, my whole life is a movie.
All my life I’ve always felt like my life was a movie.
Perhaps it’s related to loneliness.
As a kid I felt like no one else was real.
That everyone only existed for me.
I remember walking to school one day and having the realization that if I wasn’t walking through the park – the park didn’t exist.
The people there, walking their dogs, did not exist without me.
It’s like that saying:
If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?
This a philosophical thought experiment, apparently.
Crystal meth psychosis is also a philosophical thought experiment.
Believing everyone only exists only for you, is this solipsism? Or some other insane psychiatric condition? Schizophrenia, maybe? Or bi-polar?
But right now I’m getting the movie feeling again.
Thing is, Sorya Mall is a reality TV show.
Or, it’s like a reality TV show.
It’s all eyes on you.
If you’re being watched.
If they are watching, then everyone is watching…
You.
24/7.
I know.
I’ve had it for a year.
Maybe two.
By who?
The elefants.
And the police.
Everyone.
The whole Cambodian community.
Or possibly Hollywood.
Francis Ford Coppola.
Mr. Fox.
After all, the night club, opposite the baby golden magic elephant, is called Heart of Darkness.
Isn’t Apocalypse Now based on the old English novel Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad?
I rest my case.
Golden Sorya Mall is a Francis Ford Coppola movie set.
And I walked onto it, by accident.
And now I’m James Bond.
007
Directed by Mr. C.
Mr. Crystal Meth Psychosis.
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Follow the true story of my Christian mission into gangland Cambodia to combat child sex trafficking.

Author: Mark Dark

Actor Teacher Writer Breaking Bad for Christ – a Novel. Actor turned Christian missionary turns his back on his Hollywood dreams to combat sex trafficking in Cambodia – and finds himself deep underground in a dangerous world of drugs, gangs and violence. Based on a true story. https://steveedwardsthoughts.wordpress.com/

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